binge eating

I wake up and I seriously ask myself whyyyyy!??? and WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???! UGHHH! A bottle of wine and several pitchers of beer for beer pong later, I am extremely fucked up and eat EVERYTHING. ( I didn't throw up, but I really should have) Today I am fasting and see where that gets me... the max I will eat today is 3 apples. Tomorrow I'm also going to fast on apples. I just feel absolutely so gross right now, like I have no control over myself. Today I'm taking total control back. Maybe this is what I needed to push me in the right direction...