630 calories

It's 7:30pm here in nyc and I ate a grand total of 630 calories. now if only I don't eat anymore for the rest of the day. I didn't get a chance to go to the gym today, but definitely tomorrow. My friend just texted me she works for a casting company and wants me to be in a commercial for marshalls. I'm not sure yet, I still feel so fat ugh. One of my best guy friends of all time is coming to visit me this weekend. I don't know if this is going to be weird or not. We have been friends for six years, and everyone thinks he is madly in love with me, but I never really noticed. We never hooked up before and I just don't see him that way. I have a trundle bed he can sleep on for the two nights let's hope things don't change between us!

I deleted my facebook account because I was sick of stalking my ex. I miss him. I miss us being so close. I dont want him reading my wall or seeing all of the clubs and places I've checked into. I just want him to text me to see how I'm doing... not rely on Facebook for all of the details. Meanwhile I got like a million texts "WTF YOU DELETED YOUR FB???!!" yupp... i have a feeling it's only going to last a few weeks...

stay skinny :)

"Lose It" app

whatsupppp everyone?!? So the weekend threw me off with thanksgiving and partying and eating out etc. But I'm back on track. I've been sick over the weekend ugh. I haven't been losing weight on days when I fast, I seem to stay the same... but when I eat low calories I always drop the weight. Today so far has been good! I've been using the "LOSE IT" app on my iphone. I loveeeee it! It's so easy to count calories! I've been adding every little thing I put in my mouth so I can't lie to myself. I set my goal at 2 lbs per week( the most it would let me) , which lets me eat about 1,000 calories a day, but I don't want to eat THAT MUCH... so I'm aiming for no more than 800 a day for the next month... I plan on burning off around 600 at the gym. We shall seeeee!

el preggo?

so yesterday I was freaking out because I know it has been about 6 weeks since I got my period. I only had sex twice since my last one  (sadly) so i figured it was almost impossible that i would be pregnant. to be safe i went to duane reade and bought a $17 test. i opened it and went into the bathroom.... pulled down my underwear and sure enough there was my period. WTF ha. So anywayyyyy now I'm so bloated and thats all i think about is FOOODDD! I was doing so great today ate nothing but a tiny muffin... burned 600 calories on the elliptical...  and then my door bell rang. my aunt sent over 2 dozen chocolate cookies!!! damn you period and chocolate cravings!! I think I ate 3 :( oh well at least I worked out. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym hopefully burning 1200 calories and I'm going to have broccoli for dinner. I don't want to weigh myself because I KNOW i am bloated... I always feel like a fat pig this time of the month...


ciao... hopefully I'm thinner tomorrow than I am today!

a little thinspiration before bed

magic brownies

omg I ate the magic brownies... more weed than I thought!!! I WAS SO HIGH. FML I didn't realize how much I ate and I honestly don't even want to know/ or even think about it.... SO MOVING ON... water fasting today... just got back from the gym burned 550 calories and going back once more after class to hopefully burn another 500... Definitely water fasting tomorrow and wednesday as well and going to the gym . I normally take 1 oxyelite but today I'm taking two... going to weigh in thanksgiving morning! agh hoping for 126!!! 

Thanksgiving... Mind over matter and I won't get fatter.

As you know, I live in NYC, most of my friends including I have to work on thanksgiving day because everything is open. That being said, we are celebrating Thanksgiving today.  I'm freaked out. All of my favorite food is going to be put in front of me today. I don't really have any other plan but will power and self control (oh and oxyelite).  This is going to be the biggest temptation for me yet. ugh. Any suggestions would be amazing! xoxo

I made a really cute bracelet yesterday :) It's full of little fruits and veggies to remind me what to eat. I'll try to wear it everyday so I think before I put something of my mouth. I'll take a pic later and post :)

OXYELITE PRO

hey guys soooo I decided since I don't have enough SELF CONTROL on my own I need a little boost. I don't know if any of you ever heard of this stuff but it's supposed to be great! (let me know if you ever tried it) One of my good friends started taking it and lost 20 lbs over summer! Completely going to kill my appetite! I just took one before breakfast. About to eat my oatmeal and take my vitamins. Since I gained SO MUCH I'm going to take the rest of the week lightly. I'm only going to eat my high fiber oatmeal (160 calories) and then a chicken salad (about 300 calories). Definitely going to hit the elliptical after class for an hour.... Then I have to write a six page sociology paper due tomorrow morning ugh! 

IF ANYONE HAS ANY TIPS TO GIVE ME SELF CONTROL AT RESTAURANTS PLEASEEEEE COMMENT! GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS IS MY WEAKNESS!!!! ESPECIALLY MEXICAN!! BECAUSE THEY JUST PLACE THE CHIPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!

GAINED 2 LBS FUCKKKKK MYYYY LIFEEEEE

I heard a quote " you don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there." I'm not going to drown. Even though I gained two pounds I'm going to rework my plan and keep going. I'm wasting my time writing this, first thing, I'm eating my oatmeal, and heading to the gym to burn 800 calories! wish me luck!

FAT ASS

soooo I feel like a total FAT ASS! I fucking ate so much this weekend and DRANK A LOT and didnt work out once! i think i definitely gained but I'm not weighing myself till tomorrow. This past weekend was just FUCKING CRAZY! I was bartending on sunday and met a guy from australia :) he is soooo HOT ( i mean drop dead gorgeous... my friends were in awww) I had to get his number (of course I did) we went out for drinks that night, I got so completely wasted I went home and threw up (don't really remember that part but so i hear from my roommate). He texted me yesterday morning saying that he booked us dinner at Betel. It was a really nice restaurant! Got a bottle of wine and 7 COURSES ! I ate so much!! he brought up how he loves girls that eat and he hates girls that are too skinny or just orders a salad. HE CONTINUED TO PUT FOOD ON MY PLATE. anyway what a sweetheart I wish more american guys were like him.... too bad he left for mexico today :(

Today I did okay I'm getting back on track. I went on the elliptical for an hour and burned 600 calories. I ate high fiber oatmeal for breakfast (160 cals), took my vitamins, and i had a salad for lunch/dinner(maybeee 350 cals). My roommate is trying to make my ass fatter and made cookies. I had 3.... there's 180 cals in 2.. so whats that??... (270) cals ouch!!! total 780 cals

stupid fucking cookies i hate you!!! anyway gym and the dreadful weigh in first thing in the morning!!! I NEED SOME NEW INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION!!! off to youtube before bed to check out some thinspos NITE NITEEE XOX

Went out last night

Like I said before resisting temptation in this city is close to impossible. We kno all of the promoters and club owners so we get free dinner which tastes amazinggggg and full of calories. We get free limos that take us anywhere so the only exercise I get is walking to coat check. Free bottles all night long, Champagne, grey goose with high calorie juice. I said no to the dinner and only had 2 glasses of chamagne and I drank the grey goose on the rocks. EVERYONE kept telling me how skinny I look and said I look great. It feels so good to get results and hear compliments... Other people noticing my success only makes me want to go further. Today is going to be a very light day. So far I had a granola bar at 120 calories. I probably won't eat much more the rest of the day. Weigh in tomorrow!!! Hoping to be at 127.1!!!! Gotta go to class xoxox

11/10

weighed in today at 128 exactly. but I feel like I'm going to weigh more tomorrow so I'm freaking out. I ate high fiber oatmeal for breakfast, took my vitamins. For lunch I ate at huge piece of bread with hummus and a few pieces (4) of chicken kabob with a little bit of rice. I really don't want to eat anything else for the rest of the night, but if I have to I'll eat a banana. I need to burn some of those calories so I'm going to try and squeeze an hour work out in right now hoping to burn at least 300.

fasting day...

this is what I ate today... so far.

just weighed in at 128.2

Going out to eat

going out is ALWAYS SO HARD.  I just got back from dinner with a friend. There's this place on third avenue all you can eat wings/ chicken fingers and all you can drink for only $20. I stayed strong and turned it down (go me!) instead I got a side salad with balsamic on the side (barely touched it) I ate maybe 1.5 chicken fingers and a LOT of celery with a little bit of blue cheese. I drank only water and didn't even have a sip of alcohol. Going to weigh in tomorrow crossing my fingers to be 128 point something! It's late but I'm going to do a few toning exercises, squats, pushups, situps ect... oh GOOD NEWS! I talked to my trainer from awhile back and she said once my body adjusts to my new weight my boobs could bounce back!! yay!! I bought an "inspiration journal" today. Just something cute I saw at borders. I'm writing down all of my thoughts, it really helps. I put a few pictures of Victoria's secret models in there because they really are my true inspiration when it comes to my ideal body.

sagging boobies :(

Oo whyyyyy do I feel like my boobs are sagging... I lost over 2 inches around my chest and They just fell flat like pancakes... I'm going to try different exercises to fix this :( any suggestions ?

binge eating

I wake up and I seriously ask myself whyyyyy!??? and WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???! UGHHH! A bottle of wine and several pitchers of beer for beer pong later, I am extremely fucked up and eat EVERYTHING. ( I didn't throw up, but I really should have) Today I am fasting and see where that gets me... the max I will eat today is 3 apples. Tomorrow I'm also going to fast on apples. I just feel absolutely so gross right now, like I have no control over myself. Today I'm taking total control back. Maybe this is what I needed to push me in the right direction... 

INTAKE

breakfast/lunch

350 calories

1/2 BURRITO

SNACK

170 CALORIES

1 COOKIE

SNACK

2 BITES OF COOKIES AND CREAM 1/2 FAT ICECREAM

60 CALORIES

580 CALORIES SO FAR! ABOUT TO GO WORK OUT!

November 3 weigh in

looks like I lost some of that water weight!!! Probably was retaining a lot of water from all of that drinking, not to mention the sangria nachos and burritos I had on monday... Yesterday I did pretty well, I worked out and I kept it around 1000 calories. Today My goal is 800 cals. 9.6 lbs left to lose to reach first goal! 

Today I'll take pictures of EVERYTHING I put into my mouth... It's going to be hard since I am going out to a mexican dinner with roomie and friends. I think I'll order the vegetarian chilli with no cheese or sour cream, and TRY not to eat a single chip they place in front of me :)

weight and calories :( after halloween weekend ugh!

yupp this is a PROBLEM

BREAKFAST

80 calories

SNACK

260 calories

DINNER

635 (holy shit)

975 TOTAL CALORIES

so clearly I am done eating for the rest of the day. I am going to work out right now hopefully burn a few hundred of those extra calories. Tomorrow my goal is to eat 800 cals and work out! I am going to start weighing myself everyday so I don't let it slip again!

the ABC diet

Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast

frustrated

ugh so I am soooo frustrated with myself! I don't even wan't to know how much I weigh!!! This weekend sucked because I got my stupid period and I craved everything!!! not to mention it was halloween all weekend in New York City... So there was A  LOT OF DRINKING and plenty of DRUNK EATING. Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself and continue with my food photo diary... taking pictures of what I eat and blogging really helps me stay on track! tomorrow I would love to work out as well. I will not give up! I need to keep telling myself that NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS!!!! I  know i always feel so amazing when i say no to food but i feel horrible when i say yes! NO is the word!!