less blogging = more weight

UGH I'm so mad at myself. I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with if you fall you have to pick yourself back up. Problem is I fell... hard. So this is what I'm doing... picking myself back up. I am at the all time low... rock bottom... the heaviest I have ever been. One thing is for sure, I am determined. My clothes don't fit that is a giant reality check. I'm in a wedding in september and I don't fit in the size 2 dress I was fitted for in december, ( this is my motivation). Blogging really REALLY HELPS me stay on track. It really does keep me honest with myself. I'll weigh myself tomorrow and go from there. I just don't understand how all of this weight was put back on. FML. I went to hot yoga today. INTENSE. I have a date with a pretty hot guy on friday, nothing to wear. I'm just ranting right now but it's helping me get my thoughts straight. I just watched a bunch of before and after weight loss videos on youtube, very inspiring. Taylor swift's videos make me just want to never eat again. she is soo hot and gorgeous and the guy from the back to december video I would just rape him. I'm going to take a 20 mg adderall tomorrow and see where that takes me... I will weigh myself first thing naked after I pee and use that as my starting weight. I'm going to guess I'm at 145 which would be my highest. I'm going to restrict my calories to 800- 1200 a day and NEVER GO OVER. hopefully I'll get lots of workouts in. Writing everything down is key. It really keeps me in check. I think I'll get a new "food diary" tomorrow. something small I can take with me. I like the lose it app but theres somthing about writing it down which just helps me more. blogging first thing tomorrow. sleep tight xoxo